||[Dec. 17th, 2004|08:25 pm]
|||||angry beyond belief||]|
|||||Burzum - "Den Onde Kysten"||]|
Sometimes I hate my position in life. I just can't stop butting heads with my dad. I'm so fucking angry right now but I have to hold it in because then all Hell is going to break loose. Again. And nothing is going to get solved and I'm just going to feel like shit again for the next 2 weeks. So I might as well feel like shit now and get it over with than wait longer. I just hate the fact that no one understands me or where I'm coming from, no one understands why I wanted the goddamn pictures to be taken. Well fuck them, I don't want them anymore. They all have their photo albums of themselves and their son, but where the fuck am I? I'm some fuckin enigma, I already threw away 75% of my stuff just to please them so that my grandpa and my brother and his girlfriend could have a place to sleep comfortably, I might as well burn the rest of it and kill myself. Then there won't be a single trace of me left, and maybe one day I'll be fucking happy. If it weren't for my guitar, I'd fucking do it, too. Then they'd feel sorry for not taking pics of me, and they'd realize how much they all take me for granted.
I don't take you for granted. You die and I'll kill you! You know I can do it too, so don't try me. I'm sorry things are shitty. I want to take lots of pictures with EVERYBODY, to start an album of my own. I don't know if it helps, but you'll be in that book VERY often! Come and see you friends Jelena, we miss you and can always help. Come over and help me write the music for "The Forgotten", Justin isn't into it right now and I need help! At the very least, give me a call...
Thanks Steve-o, that would mean a lot to me since you guys ARE family to me. I'd love to have a photo-album full of us all and our crazy times! I've decided not to care about how bad I think my pictures look, too, they're all goin in! I need to get a car, man, so I can cruise down and cheer you on.
thats how my family is, there are almost no pictures of me and like 1000 of my little sister, in fact, the only ppl to take pics of me in the last four years are my friends... thats it... family life sucks, anyway, right there with you as well. feel better hun, l8r
Yeah, then you know how I feel. Oh well, they're missin out big time!! Thanks, hope you feel better, too. :-|
it fucking sucks being the black sheep. The only peace of mind i get comes from the fact that in a few short years i'll be out on my own and then it's life my way. Someday they'll look back and realize they lost out on a time in their life with me around.
2004-12-21 12:11 am (UTC)
Re: from someone who knows...
Yeah, it does suck, but oh well. The best you can do is don't make the same mistakes if you ever have kids, ya know?